Mr Burns Casino Quotes

• (During the opening credits, Mr. Burns acts as the Crypt Keeper from Tales from the Crypt.) Mr. Burns: Hello, boils and ghouls. I am the crypt-keeper, or should I say master of scary-i-monies?
• Oh don't worry, by the time this paid political announcement is done every Johnny Lunchpail in this whole stupid state will be eating out of my hand. I'm Montgomery Burns, your next governor and I'm hear to talk to you about my little friend here, Blinky. Many of you consider him to be a hideous genetic mutation.
• Team Homer - Reading MAD Magazine Bart: 'What higher power do TV evangelists worship?' Milhouse: I'll say Jesus. Bart: 'The almighty dollar'? Skinner: As I was saying, my yearly evaluation couldn't have come at a better time. Chalmers: Well, Seymour, I must say for once, I am impressed. In fact, I am going to give this school a perfect ten. lifts clipboard I'll just write.

A great memorable quote from the The Simpsons movie on Quotes.net - Robert Goulet arrives with Bart at his tree-house CasinoRobert Goulet: Are you sure this is the Casino? Burns: Since the beginning of time, man has yearned to destroy the sun. I will do the next best thing: block it out. I will do the next best thing: block it out. He presses yet another button, raising a shield over the model town which blots out the sunlight.

Lenny: No, mine was rubber mats in the decontamination showers, also water in the decontamination showers.
Burns: Never!

• Permalink: No, mine was rubber mats in the decontamination showers, also water in the decontamination showe
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I appreciate the counsel Simpson, now please trap door yourself out.

• Permalink: I appreciate the counsel Simpson, now please trap door yourself out.
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I demand to see that capitalism castrating suffragette this instant.

• Permalink: I demand to see that capitalism castrating suffragette this instant.
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Beware, rabbits. I spy with my transplanted eyes.

• Permalink: Beware, rabbits. I spy with my transplanted eyes.
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Don't pester the rich. I don't hand out candy, you son of a grinch.

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Burns: How much for your entire collection?
Comic Book Guy: Um, the speed of light expressed in dollars.
Burns (to Smithers): Just give him Faraday's constant.

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Hello, Smithers. Fancy seeing you in casual encounter park.

• Permalink: Hello, Smithers. Fancy seeing you in casual encounter park.
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I insist you never wear shoes or a proper necktie again. Just house slippers and the most humiliating tie there is - bolo.

• Permalink: I insist you never wear shoes or a proper necktie again. Just ho...
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Take us out first. Anyone can start a family. These days no one can find a job.

• Permalink: Take us out first. Anyone can start a family. These days no on...
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Smithers: They're fighting like Iran and Iraq!
Mr. Burns: What?
Smithers: Persia and Mesopotamia.

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Apu: Mr Burns, just jump into the net!
Mr. Burns: What's in it for me?
Moe: Just jump!

• Permalink: Mr Burns, just jump into the net! What's in it for me? Just ...
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Homer: Oh! This is Eduardo. He's the pool boy. He thinks he's an angry old rich man.
Mr. Burns: I am an angry old rich man!
Homer: (whispers) That's the pool chemicals talking.

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The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

• Permalink: The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles tri...
• Recent Views: 31

Dearest Edna, I must leave you. Why, I cannot say. Where, you cannot know. How I will get there, I haven't decided yet. But one thing I can tell you, any time I hear the wind blow it will whisper the name Edna. And so let us part with a love that will echo through the ages. ---Woodrow

• Permalink: Dearest Edna, I must leave you. Why, I cannot say. Where, you ca...
• Recent Views: 23

Ned: Come on Homer, I'm insisting on a fisting.
Smithers: What's this about a fisting?

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Smithers: Can I have a scotch and water?
Moe: My scotch is a scotch and water.

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Smithers: They're fighting like Iran and Iraq!
Mr. Burns: What?
Smithers: Persia and Mesopotamia.

I insist you never wear shoes or a proper necktie again. Just house slippers and the most humiliating tie there is - bolo.

• Permalink: I insist you never wear shoes or a proper necktie again. Just ho...
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Take us out first. Anyone can start a family. These days no one can find a job.

• Permalink: Take us out first. Anyone can start a family. These days no on...
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Smithers: They're fighting like Iran and Iraq!
Mr. Burns: What?
Smithers: Persia and Mesopotamia.

• Permalink: They're fighting like Iran and Iraq! What? Persia and Mesopo...
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Apu: Mr Burns, just jump into the net!
Mr. Burns: What's in it for me?
Moe: Just jump!

• Permalink: Mr Burns, just jump into the net! What's in it for me? Just ...
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Homer: Oh! This is Eduardo. He's the pool boy. He thinks he's an angry old rich man.
Mr. Burns: I am an angry old rich man!
Homer: (whispers) That's the pool chemicals talking.

• Permalink: Oh! This is Eduardo. He's the pool boy. He thinks he's an angry ...
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The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

• Permalink: The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles tri...
• Recent Views: 31

Dearest Edna, I must leave you. Why, I cannot say. Where, you cannot know. How I will get there, I haven't decided yet. But one thing I can tell you, any time I hear the wind blow it will whisper the name Edna. And so let us part with a love that will echo through the ages. ---Woodrow

• Permalink: Dearest Edna, I must leave you. Why, I cannot say. Where, you ca...
• Recent Views: 23

Ned: Come on Homer, I'm insisting on a fisting.
Smithers: What's this about a fisting?

• Permalink: Come on Homer, I'm insisting on a fisting. What's this about a...
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Smithers: Can I have a scotch and water?
Moe: My scotch is a scotch and water.

• Permalink: Can I have a scotch and water? My scotch is a scotch and water...
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Smithers: They're fighting like Iran and Iraq!
Mr. Burns: What?
Smithers: Persia and Mesopotamia.

• Permalink: They're fighting like Iran and Iraq! What? Persia and Mesopo...
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(Smithers is on fire, while Mr. Burns is washing his car.)
Smithers: Sir, help me!
Mr. Burns: Why should I? You're not helping me.
Smithers: But sir, I'm flaming!
(Mr. Burns looks at the camera with an odd expression)

• Permalink: Sir, help me! Why should I? You're not helping me. But sir, ...
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(During the opening credits, Mr. Burns acts as the Crypt Keeper from Tales from the Crypt.)
Mr. Burns: Hello, boils and ghouls. I am the crypt-keeper, or should I say master of scary-i-monies? (Laughs)
(Smithers interrupts Mr. Burn's opening speech.)
Smithers: (Laughs) Priceless sir, you made the word ceremonies frightening.
Mr. Burns: I know what I did. Urghh.

Mr Burns Casino Quotes History

• Permalink: Hello, boils and ghouls. I am the crypt-keeper, or should I say ...
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(Mr. Burns and Smithers visit the morgue.)
Mr. Burns: Ah, nothing lifts my spirits like shopping. Let's see, (Points) I'll take his liver, a case of Adam's apples, (Points) that motorcycle man's mustache.
Smithers: Oh, the money you've contributed to anti-helmet laws has really paid off, sir.
Mr. Burns: Well, young people are my future.

• Permalink: Ah, nothing lifts my spirits like shopping. Let's see, I'll tak...
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(Smithers helps Mr. Burns shop for a cell phone.)
Smithers: What happened to that mini-cell phone I gave you, sir?
Mr. Burns: Ooh, I thought that was a lemon drop.
(Mr. Burns stomach suddenly vibrates.)
Smithers: I'll go get the number de-listed.

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Smithers: I'm so happy I could hug you.
Mr. Burns: And have me smell like cheap drug store cologne the rest of the day? You may hug my shadow.

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He was more than a friend. He was the reason I got up in the morning because he would inject me with coffee at six in the morning in the back of the head.

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Smithers: Mr. Simpson, are you listening? (Homer eats an orange) Simpson?!
Homer: Huh? Yeah, I was listening. Very funny.
Moe: Oh, you were not! You were just eating a damn orange.
Homer: Well, yes, yes, to the untrained eye, I'm eating an orange, not to the eye that has brains; I'm making a point about marriage! For you see, marriage is a lot like an orange. First, you have the skin...then the sweet, sweet innards... (devours it)

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Mr. Burns: Careful, Smithers, that sponge has corners you know.
Smithers: I'll go find a spherical one, sir.

• Permalink: Careful, Smithers, that sponge has corners you know. I'll go f...
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Oh my God, Mr. Burns is dead! Why do the good always die so young?

• Permalink: Oh my God, Mr. Burns is dead! Why do the good always die so youn...
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The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

• Permalink: The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles tri...
• Recent Views: 31

Dearest Edna, I must leave you. Why, I cannot say. Where, you cannot know. How I will get there, I haven't decided yet. But one thing I can tell you, any time I hear the wind blow it will whisper the name Edna. And so let us part with a love that will echo through the ages. ---Woodrow

• Permalink: Dearest Edna, I must leave you. Why, I cannot say. Where, you ca...
• Recent Views: 23

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